Mom, what’s ladies night out?
— Marty, yesterday while driving past a hotel

chasereeves:

Me: dude, this is the coolest Lego. I think it’s lovely!

Aiden: don’t say ‘lovely’ — I like ‘cool’ and ‘awesome’ and ‘dudes.’

The hardest part about being a boy is trying to find a girl that will actually put up with you.
— Marty, my 8 year old
Dad, did you hear that Justin Bieber is now drunk? Yeah, he got arrested for driving too fast. He paid the police so he didn’t stay in jail.
— Marty, my 8 year old
My dad’s job is hacking
— Marty, my 8 year old
At recess there are three clubs: the Kitty Club, the Puppy Club, and the Furry Demon club.
— Marty, my 8 year old
Dad, school sucks because it’s like they lock you up for hours. And you have to pay for it.
— Marty, my 8 year old
Dad, do squirrels have diseases?
— Marty, my 8 year old (via justinjacksoncanada)
When I get older I’m definitely going to eat a little more junk food but I’m not going to smoke
— Marty, my 8 year old
Dad, am I a white kid?
— Marty, my 8 year old