Hey dad, if you need a job, Dominos is hiring.
— Marty, my 9 year old son
Going to sleep is boring.
— Marty, my 9 year old son
When I was in grade 1, and I had a wiggly tooth, I was really scared of doors… and string.
— Marty, my 8 year old

What would you rather do?

Hunt for food?
Plant for food?
Pick non poisonous berries from a bush?

— Marty, my 8 year old
If you were single and you ran away because you didn’t want to get married and you forgot what humans were like, what type of animal would you like to raise you?
— Marty, my 8 year old


  • Marty: is there any clothes I can wear?
  • Me: you can wear these sweatpants if you'd like.
  • Marty: no, I want to save those for movie night.
What would you rather do:
Be single?
Live in the jungle?
Watch tv?
— Marty, my 8 year old
Mom, what’s ladies night out?
— Marty, yesterday while driving past a hotel


Me: dude, this is the coolest Lego. I think it’s lovely!

Aiden: don’t say ‘lovely’ — I like ‘cool’ and ‘awesome’ and ‘dudes.’

The hardest part about being a boy is trying to find a girl that will actually put up with you.
— Marty, my 8 year old